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Cloyster Man will return some day


Artist Redition of Cloyster Man

Perhaps the greatest superhero to ever live, this legendary leader of men was the last line of defense against the forces of darkness. He is considered by many now a days to only be a myth, but those with true manliness in their hearts know that he was a real person.

The Man

He lived around 300 AD in a town full of poor farmers. One day, the evil leader of a rival farming tower came to eat all the towns jelly beans. The man was able to trick many of the poor farmers into handing over their jelly bean crop, but Cloyster Man saw through this. Inviting the evil man over to his house for tea, Cloyster Man lulled the fiend into a false sense of sucurity, before finally decapitaing him.

The Myth

The poor farmers had no idea what had happened, but they knew that Cloyster Man was destined for greatnest. They lavished upon him many awesome gifts and candy. Cloyster Man then spent the rest of his days forfilling other good deeds for people in need, till one day he just disapeared. No one knows where he went to, but many believe he will some day return just when the world needs him most.

The Legend

And yeah, his junk was enormous.